Trying to get inspired again...

I decided to go back and read my blogs from when I was actually doing great, hoping for a little inspiration. It's ironic how much they've actually changed. From excited and active to constantly making excuses and trying to get inspired again. I'm really mostly sad that I'm not active like I once was. I did really great with walking, so winter has been somewhat of a hindrance, tho I can't use it as an excuse, since I have workout videos. Plus, the weather has actually been quite warm several days lately.

I found a blog where I talked about getting tired of eating. I remember that. I honestly just got bored mid-meal and didn't want to eat the rest. I had food in the proper perspective.

I'm not going to make any promises to break about what I'm going to start doing. I'll let my future blogs speak for themselves.

Doubling my failure rate

So last year I lost 35 lbs. And, while I'm hoping to at least lose that much again this year, I'm taking a new focus for now. Maybe it'll all come together to form a better me.

This year I want to focus more on my mental health. Now, don't run too far with that. I'm not crazy.. I don't think... haha. But I have become sarcastic, cynical, pessimistic, and, yeah, maybe even a little bitter. My self-esteem is at an all-time low. Honestly? I think very little of myself. Any good things feel fabricated to me. Like, "posh! you really think you're caring?" I'm terrified of anything new and I've let my fear of failure cripple me.

I'm really not certain that my self-image is that far off. I think I've become a little self-absorbed with my "pain". At any rate, I'm through with feeling this way. I'm ready to forgive those who hurt me, accept myself for who I am, and work towards a better me!

A thought to get me started: "If you want to be successful, double your failure rate." - Bill Gates

Christmas

So I finally got my laptop back! Maybe I can get back to blogging and losing weight!

Ever since vacation, I've been fluctuating between the same 3 lbs. Better than a gain! Over Christmas I gained less than a lb more than the highest point of the 3 lbs. So I'm feeling pretty victorious! :) Still at almost 35 lbs lost, I'm trying to concentrate on progress and not the stand-still. I'm trying to see the stand-still as progress, too. I've not really been trying to watch what I eat, necessarily, so this means I've learned to eat less. Now, if I can just learn to eat enough less that I can maintain a size 8! :)

Hoping to get back on track now that the new year is here and all the holidays are over. I think I did ok last week, but I forgot to weigh before I ate breakfast so I guess we'll have to wait and see.

An article I found interesting:

http://www.curvygirlguide.com/self-body/reinventing-the-resolution-2012-take-back-your-number/

Oops...

So I was going to try and start ww again today... I tracked breakfast and lunch... But then my dad and I made peanut butter balls... Mmmmmm... Anyway..

My sister and I plan to go to a meeting next Monday, so maybe that'll get us reinspired. Or, I should say, me... She's a real trooper! She's stuck with it while the rest of us dawdled and some of us stopped... Hats off to Amy! :)

Weigh in...

I lost two lbs last week! I'm back on the Shred. Apparently that's helping. It's about time something happens. I haven't made any progress for 3 months now. :/ At least I haven't gained!!

Weigh in...

Ok, to catch you up to date...
On 10/24/11, my weigh in said I lost 2 lbs. This brought me to 40 lbs total. I knew I'd been eating terrible and there wasn't much of a chance that was very accurate, but I was excited to be at 40 lbs and I figured, if the scales said it, I could claim it...

Well.. I continued eating terribly (I don't know why..I just got stuck in this bad eating rut.. I think because I wasn't exercising...) and the next weigh in said I gained 5 lbs... This was 11/1/11. I refused to talk about it, promising myself I would make up for it the next week...

Today is next week and today said the same as last week. And I ate terrible again last week. Leading me to believe there is something up with my scales... Or, well, my weight fluctuation anyway.. I don't think it's entirely inaccurate.. But things like, I normally weigh in around 8:00 and it was 10:30 when I weighed on 10/24/11 kinda make a difference...

Anyway.. All that being said, I'm gonna keep my mind on the 35 lbs behind me, not the 5 lbs jumping around, and set my mind on going forward! :)

Now, I've started the shred again, so I'm not looking for any kind of good loss, quite possibly a gain. But for a couple of weeks, it's just going to have to be that way because I have GOT to get active again!!!

So that's my story, and that's where I'm at. :)

Weigh in...

This week I only lost .2. But I'm grateful for the loss! :) With a long weekend out of town, I was a little worried I'd gained! If I'd have worked out, it would've been better, but that's ok.